My life so far...

The first 15 years of my life were spent mainly in my school text books, playing and giggling with a few friends after returning home from school, doing my homework, eating and sleeping.

Never helped my sweet mother in cooking nor assisted her in any household chores...she would never let me do otherwise too..very sweet that she was... :) Never understood what relations are and what they really meant.

Then came a turning point of tragedy in my life, where I lost her in a terrible accident...I realised that I could have spent much better times with her when there were many chances to...Regretted that I didn't make use of the right opportunities given by Him.

My angel sisters took very good care of me then..they do even now...

Ever since the day my mother left me, I decided to turn over a new leaf and never to trouble anyone ever in my life and be good to one and all..Keeping others happy became a goal to me..be it in the short run as well as in the long run.

I started practising the act of being funny, cheering up people around, helping them solve their problems when they sought my advice..being a moral support to friends who needed me..This also helped me in becoming a much better person..not boasting here....but telling it aloud so that I can feel happy that I did manage to do a few good deeds and be labelled by many as a "sweet person".

But offlate, I don't see myself much/anymore like this....I feel I am lost in the woods.I have woven such a complex web around myself that I am unable to see what the truth about even the smallest things of events is nor able to comprehend them even if I be able to see the truth in it.I get tensed for every other event-to-be...losing my jovial nature..not that I don't crack jokes and make people around me laugh, but their intensity or the frequency has definitely reduced..I am not able to trust people like before...this is definitely because I am losing my self-confidence..and as a result of which I get so confused about things....Phew...!

Once upon a time, I strongly believed in eternity of my things..but now...I doubt whether they would still want to be with me...An astrologer had predicted my horoscope and written very clearly that I would be a loner all my life because of my serious nature...I think things are going that way now..My intentions are never to hurt anyone...but I always end up hurting people..especially my closest ones...May be I shouldn't be blunt abut things I want to convey...

My greatest doubt now is , if I would ever have one single such friend(other than my family), who would always love to be with me no matter what I do or what I speak...who would always be happy with me and foremost of all, will I ever be able to keep someone happy all the while, someone never ever disappointed by me..?Will I be ever able to achieve this in my life..hehe..here comes another doubt!

I wish I be able to create a life around me where there is lot of love, faith, joy and peace...where there is no room for uncertainties, sorrows...Just looking forward to it..!

Lyrics..Simple and Straight- Beatles

Can't buy me love, love
Can't buy me love

I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright
I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright
'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

Can't buy me love, everybody tells me so
Can't buy me love, no no no, no

Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

A Fairytale...

Once upon a time, there lived an epitome of beauty
By the name Belle - simple, sweet and having love in bounty..


She read books-a lot of them, for a time that was eternity,
Gaily would she hop then here and there,with an aura of serenity.

She lived with her Papa, a scientist, in a small cute cottage,
Who invented a wood cutting machine that required a minimum wattage.

On his horse does he set out to exhibit his invention in the neighbouring town,
Only to head towards the wrong path, to be chased by more than one hound.

Then did he find an old castle on the way, from the hounds,where he could dodge,
Entering it did he find a welcome from a candle and a clock,for him to lodge.

Soon there were the cups and saucers who treated him courteously,
but these moments couldn't be tolerated by a man who was beastly..

A beast that he was, he dragged Belle's Papa to the prison,
For tresspassing into his castle, stating this as the reason.

Led by her horse, a worried Belle entered the castle looking for her father,
Pleads the beast to leave her father and take her in the prison forever.

The Beast let her father go and imprisoned her in the place of gloom,
But said the cup," Don't scare her, show her the way to the guest room".

Soon was she taken to her beautiful and huge populate,
and she no longer felt as if she were in an isolate.

Surrounded by the cheers of Belle and the non-living beings for many days,
The beast also learnt how to love people and be cheerful for always..


Then came a day where Belle wanted to see her father, through a magic mirror,
The beast showed her a sick father writhing in pain in the cold, just to reach her.

Tears filled her eyes..her papa did she long to meet,
The Beast let her go as he loved her- he finally had his feat...:-)

She went running to see her father, took him home and tended him well,
But very soon were they surrounded by people who at them, began to yell.

As they didn't believe that the beast existed and labelled him mad..
Belle showed the beast thru the magic mirror,"he is harmless" did she add..

Consumed by fear and rage,the people left for the castle to kill the beast,
But the non living beings of the place attacked them from west to east.

The suitor of Belle managed to reach the place where the beast was,
Battled with him,stabbing him to death before his death came across.

Taken aback by this tragedy, Belle flew to him where he lay dying..
"You can't leave me....I love you" were her words as she started crying...

Then came sparks of light up depicting love from the heaven....
to transform the beast into a Charming Prince thus telling a story interwoven..

A prince was transformed into a beast by a spell cast by a fairy in disguise..
as an ugly woman seeking shelter, whom the prince treated in a way that wasn't nice...

The cast spell was to be broken the day the beast would learn to love...
and also be loved in turn, naturally, but not by any means of shove.

The cups and saucers, broomstick, wardrobe, candle and clock,
Were all the Prince's subjects who also fell under the same spell-lock.

Now was there a complete and happy kingdom where love filled its air,
Together they lived happily ever after, for each other with enamor and care..

A fairytale where love was never at the least..
Such is the timeless story of Beauty and the Beast...:-)

To be or not to be..

I held your hand to take you forward,
you stood there with hesitation, saying no word...
I understood your silence and gave you an assurance..
that I'll always be there for you..in a relationship with great endurance..
With the passing days, in me did you start to believe,
you felt happy...and your unhappy past from you could I relieve..

Flowers of love then did begin to bloom..
Never had us in our lives to be in states of gloom..
Moments grew into days, days into months into years..
Things seemed beautiful with all smiles and no tears..
Then did I think of staying this way forever and gathered courage..
To ask you for lifetime companionship through the holy bond of marriage..

But you never had any such thought in your mind..
your version of a relationship was of another kind..
But you then decided to give me what I wanted..
Marriage-the thread by which we could be forever bonded..
So sweet of you did I think that time...
Finally we would together hear the cathedral chime..

Lives got busy and you gave me time almost seldom..
I felt lonely and neglected...I felt," where is my chum?"
I decided to let you go for sometime away from me...
And come back once you realise that without me cannot you be...
On the contrary, things didn't work the way I thought,
there was created in our relationship a dry drought...

I wanted to come back to be with you at once..
But soon did I realise that I made of myself a dunce..
My words had pierced through your heart..
which always trusted me from the start...
To accept me back, did you feel too weak...
But not to hurt me, to an extent did you agree being meek..

Believe me, I never meant what I said..
Why did I ever breakup with you- is now my deep regret..
I have had beautiful moments of my life with you..
Sometimes felt that things are too good to be true..
But no matter how much I apologise or how much I care..
is not going to lessen your pain even about it if you share...

Letting you go of me doesn't also seem to come with ease..
Without you do I feel, that my life would only freeze..
You are insecure and unsure, not about yourself, but about my mind...
even though on one side you know that in your love have I gone blind..
Let me tell you one thing with eloquence at this point,
I think you are right,its difficult to mend a broken joint..

I can never see you in pain..though by me has it been caused..
But if this continues..it will make your life get forever paused...
I don't deny the unperishable love for each other, for now or forever...
But will you ever be able to trust me...even when we start to be together?
By asking you to stay back with me, am I being only selfish,
All my life, this is something which I would never be able to cherish...

One thing for granted can you take that there are things that will never change..
Like the way we always felt for each other...yes the same..nothing unknown nor strange..
No matter how much time you take,for our matter, to think and adjourn..
I shall wait for your decision..as an examinee for the results of her love to be known..
Dear love, all I want to say is that its your call now..the ball is in your court..
Any decision you take, will I duly respect it..to you putting forth my forever support.

Back to the pavilion

A guy expresses himself, through these words to his gal,
To get back to her after she declared their relationship as 'null'..!

***********************************************************

"I see only you each time I close my eyes..
thinking of you makes me feel warm and nice..

The flow of your thoughts in my mind doesn't stop...
and such are times when a wide smile does suddenly pop..

Its you for whom my heart does really care..
Forever, its with you whom I want my life to share..

To anyone else have I been ever so close..
its you, my sweetie...for an eternal love whom I chose..

Today I have somethings to be confessed-
I apologise for situations that had your mind feel pressed..

I promise that things will be better than before..
There shall be no chances of our separation anymore..

I promise true happiness and joys between me and you..
I promise our lives will be 'too good to be true'..

Oh my love, do believe in all my words so far said..
Cos this time, of being with me, you are never gonna regret! :-) "

*********************************************************

Take a break

When u feel u have worked enough,
and dont wanna make it further tough,
take a break

When u dont feel like working,
and if it at you, starts pecking,
take a break

When no thoughts into ur mind penetrate,
and on things, if you aint able to concentrate,
take a break

When things dont happen as u expect,
and u fail to be a circumspect,
take a break

When u want ur money to be saved,
but end up in having all ur money caved,
take a break

When ur world turns upside down,
and is causing you to frown..
take a break

If u have on ur heart a burden,
that u feel needs to be forgotten,
take a break

When u feel lonely and bad,
doing nothing but being sad,
take a break

If you have times of fun and frolic,
and suddenly abt something if you panic,
take a break

If u feel enough of what u have written,
and ur pen is too rigid to move again,
take a break

When things get out of head,
not able to comprehend the words said,
take a break

When you get bored of reading this,
and feel its gist is at a miss,
take a break!! :-p

My Dream Guy...

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
do u know how handsome u are??
up above the world so high,
its you with whom i wanna fly...

When the blazing sun is gone,
Radiance is what you always spawn.
Then you show your little light,
And cause to set things aright.

When I travel in the dark,
you light my way as a spark.
I could not have seen where to go,
If you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep,
in my sweet dreams do you peep.
For when you look into my eye,
I feel my cheeks red-I feel shy!

Like the rivers flowing in serenity,
will my love for you grow till eternity..
In my life, I know now, to me who you are-
Indeed...you are my Twinkling Smiling little star!! :-)