To be or not to be..

I held your hand to take you forward,
you stood there with hesitation, saying no word...
I understood your silence and gave you an assurance..
that I'll always be there for you..in a relationship with great endurance..
With the passing days, in me did you start to believe,
you felt happy...and your unhappy past from you could I relieve..

Flowers of love then did begin to bloom..
Never had us in our lives to be in states of gloom..
Moments grew into days, days into months into years..
Things seemed beautiful with all smiles and no tears..
Then did I think of staying this way forever and gathered courage..
To ask you for lifetime companionship through the holy bond of marriage..

But you never had any such thought in your mind..
your version of a relationship was of another kind..
But you then decided to give me what I wanted..
Marriage-the thread by which we could be forever bonded..
So sweet of you did I think that time...
Finally we would together hear the cathedral chime..

Lives got busy and you gave me time almost seldom..
I felt lonely and neglected...I felt," where is my chum?"
I decided to let you go for sometime away from me...
And come back once you realise that without me cannot you be...
On the contrary, things didn't work the way I thought,
there was created in our relationship a dry drought...

I wanted to come back to be with you at once..
But soon did I realise that I made of myself a dunce..
My words had pierced through your heart..
which always trusted me from the start...
To accept me back, did you feel too weak...
But not to hurt me, to an extent did you agree being meek..

Believe me, I never meant what I said..
Why did I ever breakup with you- is now my deep regret..
I have had beautiful moments of my life with you..
Sometimes felt that things are too good to be true..
But no matter how much I apologise or how much I care..
is not going to lessen your pain even about it if you share...

Letting you go of me doesn't also seem to come with ease..
Without you do I feel, that my life would only freeze..
You are insecure and unsure, not about yourself, but about my mind...
even though on one side you know that in your love have I gone blind..
Let me tell you one thing with eloquence at this point,
I think you are right,its difficult to mend a broken joint..

I can never see you in pain..though by me has it been caused..
But if this continues..it will make your life get forever paused...
I don't deny the unperishable love for each other, for now or forever...
But will you ever be able to trust me...even when we start to be together?
By asking you to stay back with me, am I being only selfish,
All my life, this is something which I would never be able to cherish...

One thing for granted can you take that there are things that will never change..
Like the way we always felt for each other...yes the same..nothing unknown nor strange..
No matter how much time you take,for our matter, to think and adjourn..
I shall wait for your decision..as an examinee for the results of her love to be known..
Dear love, all I want to say is that its your call now..the ball is in your court..
Any decision you take, will I duly respect it..to you putting forth my forever support.